Watering down your feedback is worse than not giving the feedback at all.
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”
Don’t water down your feedback.
Giving negative feedback can be stressful all around. But trying to soften what needs to be said is worse than saying nothing at all. The popular “sandwich method” teaches starting a feedback session with something positive, then the negative feedback, and end with something positive again. This will only confuse people, and often not get your point across as effectively.
The purpose of feedback is to help someone improve and grow. And others cannot improve if you are not being clear on what needs to be done. If you’re going to spend 30 mins of time doing something unpleasant, make sure that it’s effective, so you don’t have to do it again.
So how to make giving direct feedback easier?
Build a relationship of trust with your reports and peers. By genuinely wanting to help others, your feedback will feel just as genuine and sincere.
Be quick with negative feedback, but also give positive feedback, just as quickly.
Show EQ. When giving negative feedback, be open to the fact that you may not have all the context. So approach it (and word it) in that way. Let others tell their side of it, even if it doesn’t change the feedback.
Ask yourself (honestly) if you yourself make it easy for others to give you negative feedback. How do you react?
By forming a culture of trust, where everyone can provide direct and constructive feedback, even to leadership, you will keep your organization happy, and watch your team grow by leaps and bounds.